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Learning that your child is suicidal can be a very painful ordeal for parents to go through. However, it's also important to understand that knowing your child is suicidal at least means that you can do something to help him/her through it. Many parents of teens who committed suicide don't even know that their children are depressed. The sad fact is that parents are sometimes the last ones to know.
What do if you teen is having suicidal thoughts
If you suspect or if you find out that your teen is having suicidal thoughts, it's important to proactively seek help. Here are a few suggestions for parents with suicidal teens:
- Talk to your teen - Communicate with your teen and listen to what he/she has to say. It's important for teens to know that you love them and you're there for them fully. During these times, you may be tempted to ask so many questions but teens tend to back down and close themselves off when pressured to answer questions that they are not ready to face.
- Be persistent - Expect that your teen will shut your first attempts at communication down. Don't stop trying to reach out; eventually your teen will get the message and step out of his/her comfort zone and respond to you.
- Don't trivialize your teen's feelings - One of the most crucial mistakes that parents can make is trivializing their children's issues. Saying that there are worse things that could happen in life and expecting your child to just suck it up and cope is quite unreasonable. Validate your child's feelings by simply acknowledging the pain and sadness that he/she is feeling. If you don't validate their feelings, they will feel that you don't really care about what they are going through and you're not taking them seriously.
- Don't lecture - There is a strong urge for parents to correct what they think needs to be corrected, and this isn't entirely bad. The problem is that lecturing your teen while at a very vulnerable time of his/her life is not going to be helpful. Don't use ultimatums or offer unsolicited advise and don't try to draw out your teen by challenging them or starting a screaming match.
- Seek help - See your family physician to determine what could be done about your child's depression. A combination of medication and therapy could be recommended, depending on the situation. One should not rely entirely on medication alone as it doesn't really address the real issue. Look at medication as part of a strategy that will help your teen gain a more holistic kind of treatment.
- Explore treatment options - Once you have an idea of your teen's real situation, you can be more capable of making an informed decision. Would your teen need long term or short term help? Is it going to be better to keep him in a home environment through outpatient treatments or is it better to consider resident treatment facilities? Learn as much as you can about each option available before you make a decision.
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