| Setting House Rules for Your Teenager |
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Anybody who has had to deal with teenagers know that setting house rules can be challenging and could possibly strain the relationship at home. Teenagers are at that stage in their life when they themselves don't understand why they act out, or why they deal with the pressures in their life the way that they do. They'll most likely challenge your authority, and it could take a lot of effort to keep them on the right track, especially at home. Here are some practical tips to help you in setting house rules for your teenager: Don't take away the consequences of their mistakes - Some well-meaning parents do a great disservice to their teens by taking away the negative consequences of their actions. Some parents, on the other hand, choose to enforce punishment that puts teens through some discomfort but teaches them nothing about the consequences of their actions. In effect, the parents are saying that the consequences of their teens' mistakes is that they have to deal with the anger of their parents, which can be counterproductive most of the times. Let your teen deal with the natural consequences of their actions - As much as possible, it's better to let your teens deal with the natural consequences their bad judgment brings them. For example, you can set a rule that they won't be getting any extra money at the end of the week aside from their usual allowance. If they use up all their money before the weekend, rather than grounding them, you can let them face the natural consequences of their actions. In this case, it's going without money until the next week. If they break something in the house, they can get odd jobs (like babysitting, mowing the neighbors' lawns, etc) in order to pay for the damage. Letting teens deal with the natural consequences of their actions make more impact and teaches them very specific lessons that they need to learn in life. Reward good behavior - Some parents do not fully grasp the benefits of positive reinforcement at home. When teens grow up in an environment where they are constantly being criticized, they begin to feel that they can't do anything right, and that it's better not to try anymore. Try noticing the positive things that your teen does around the house. Even if they don't verbally acknowledge your effort, it encourages them to follow the house rules and exert a more earnest effort at home. Aside from praising them for following or being consistent about following house rules, you can also give them something that they will like. Extend their weekend curfew a bit, give them more phone privileges, give them something related to their hobby. Mixing positive reinforcement with natural consequences can be very useful in setting house rules for your teenager. Get them involved - While many parents prefer to decide on the house rules by themselves, there is some benefit to involving teens in making them. Try to involve them and get their feedback about the rules that you want to set. Listen to them and let them know that their thoughts are important to you. This will help you foster a more honest and open relationship with your child. At the same time, teens will find it harder to break rules which they had a hand in making.
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