What Every Parent Should Consider Before Seriously Considering Any Program
- We’re only considering programs for teens that are close to home." Not all programs are equal. Chances are the program that is a few hours away will not be the best program for your troubled teen. There are several important factors to consider before enrolling your teen in a program. One is that you should find a program that really will help to change your youth. Many of the best therapeutic schools and troubled teens camps are located in the Western United States. By restricting your program search to just one geographical area, you may be cutting out the very program that will help your teen. Solution: Do good research of all good teenage help programs that you find (not just in your area), then make the determination as to what school will help your family gain the healing that is needed and go with that program even if it is not the closest one. Remember, we are looking for a situation that will work, even if it is not the closest to home.
- "We want to find a low-priced program." The most important thing to consider when contemplating whether or not a particular program will work for your teen is that the program offers the needed structure to help stop and turn around the destructive behaviors your teen is currently exhibiting, structure that sometimes even the best parenting can’t provide. Often, parents don’t understand the importance and the expense of a staff that has experience and the qualifications to help turn any teen around. Unfortunately, quality specialty boarding schools and other teen help programs are expensive and parents who are trying to shop around for the best price inevitably will find a ineffective, inexpensive program. DO NOT send your child to a program that is understaffed. DO NOT send your teen to a program that uses physical punishments or isolation to change behaviors. DO NOT send your boy or girl to a program that does not offer therapy under a licensed clinical director. DO NOT send your child to a program that does not have certified teachers. All of these ingredients are crucial to a successful outcome for teens who need to fix negative behaviors. If you’re going to spend the money, make sure that it is done right and that it is only done once. We often serve families that have had their child in one or more of these inexpensive programs, only for them to find out the hard way that they have just wasted money and often put their teen in an environment that has allowed them to continue to hold on to negative behaviors. DO NOT look at price as a qualifier in finding a program for your teen. The best parenting advice we can give is to look at the staff to student ratio (staff to student ratio should never be less than 1 staff to 10 students on shift at any given time), if therapy is offered in the program (some programs will outsource their therapy which is a mistake because important information can't get passed to the everyday staff that work with the child), and if there are certified licensed teachers on staff to help ensure your teens academic success (most teens struggling in life are struggling in school; tutors or field staff are not qualified to get your teen back on track academically).
- "We are looking for a short term program." We are definitely creatures of habit. Have you ever tried to change anything about yourself? If so you know better then most people that change takes a tremendous amount of effort and time. Turning your teens thinking around and changing behaviors takes a long time. This is not something that can be solidified in a few months. Sometimes it can take a teen years to stabilize and to get out of old habits. Even with a stay of 12 months or greater at a specialty boarding school or a good residential program your child, while stable, will continue to need to change even after they come home. Experience tells us that most teens will stabilize in 12-18 months. After a good program has been found it is best to leave the length of stay open so the child knows that they must change before they come back home and there is not an amount of time that will determine whether they are ready to come home.
- "We are looking for a military boarding school or boot camp. While these programs can be effective for some teens we have found that they are not for most teens. These programs offer physical and sometimes psychological punishments to help change behaviors. Anyone who has been in the business of helping teens knows that these types of punishments do not provide the deep lasting change desired but often only a surface outward change. The idea is to change the inward issues causing negative behaviors and this can only done by persuasion; this can not be forced or beaten out of anyone. While considering programs to place your teen in look outside of the military boarding schools or boot camps and find a therapeutic program that will offer structure and firmness and a good uplifting environment to help bring about the desired change. After all, most teens are self-destructing because of the lack of their own self-worth. Therefore to change destructive behaviors the teen must find value in him/her self. This is rarely accomplished in a boot camp environment.
These are the top mistakes we have seen parents make in finding a program that will help their family and their teen. When weighing these things and considering where to place your child it is important to find the right program that will help your teen and every additional consideration should always come second.
|
