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What Every Parent Should Think About When Considering Any Program for Troubled Teens
"We only want programs for teens that are close to home." That being said, it's a fact that not all programs are created equal. More often than not, your search for a suitable program will take you many different places. It's not impossible to find the most suitable match in a different state. There are many important things to consider when finding the right program for your teen, but proximity to where you live is oftentimes not one of them. A more important thing to look for is programs that can really change the life of your teen. Some states have better programs than others, so restricting your search to a geographical area may not be the best way to go. Solution: Make sure to do sufficient good research of all reputable teenage help programs that you find (even outside your area). After that, then you can make a more informed decision on what will best help your family. It's important to remember that what will work may or may not be close to home.
"We want the cheapest, most affordable program" - The goal should be to find the most effective program that will help your teen where good parenting isn't sufficient. The truth is that many people don't understand the value of hiring people who have the proper training and experience in dealing with troubled teens. Being overly conscious about the price inevitably will find a ineffective, inexpensive program. It's a mistake to send your troubled teen to a place that is understaffed. It's a bad idea to send your troubled teen to a place where people don't understand the difference between negative and positive ways of behavior modification. It's a mistake to send your teen to a place where activities are "therapeutic" but they do not offer therapy under a licensed clinical director. It's a mistake to send your teen to a place where they will be taught by people who are not certified, licensed teachers. All these things are important ingredients to help teens turn over a new leaf and get to the right path to recovery. Yes, you may need to spend much money, but spending it right means you'll also be spending it once instead of spending more for ineffective programs. It's not unheard of for parents to send their children to inexpensive programs only to have them transferred to other programs because the problems persist. Instead of looking for inexpensive programs, look for programs that offer an individualized approach handled by certified licensed teachers, a low teacher to student ratio, strong therapy programs, and other more important indicators.
"We want a short-term program" - People are definitely creatures of habit. If you've ever seriously tried changing something about yourself, you'll find out that it takes time to make a habit, and it takes an even longer amount of time to break a habit. Your teen's negative patterns and behaviors were formed over a long period of time, real change takes longer than a few weeks to achieve. Real change is not something that is formed and solidified in a matter of months, even. Many times, it takes years for teens to gain emotional stability and unlearn self-destructive patterns. Even staying in a specialty boarding school for a year or more, or enrolling in a good residential program, your teen will still continue to need to change positively after they come home. According to experience, troubled teens need at least 12-18 months for the program to be effective. However, it's more efficient to make the stay open-ended and based on the progress of your teen.
"We prefer to look for military boarding school or boot camp" - These programs may be effective for some teens, they're not effective for most. Oftentimes, they're not effective for a long period of time. Such programs are based on physically and psychologically punishing activities. Experience teaches us that such negative types of disciplines often only inspire superficial change, and not real change. It's better to address the underlying issues behind negative behavior rather than use negative punishment or intimidation and aggression to remove undesirable attitudes. Offering therapy in a safe and supportive environment can do more in inspiring change. After all, most teens are self-destructing because of a poor self-image and because they do not realize their self-worth.
These are some of the common mistakes parents do when looking for programs to help their troubled teens. These pointers will help parents find the right program that will truly help your teen.
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