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Imposing discipline in the household is an important part of raising responsible and well-adjusted individuals. During their teenage years, some boys will have a difficult time finding their identity because of the narrow definition of masculinity available to them in the media and sometimes in the family. During these times, boys are trying to find out what it means to be a man, and the process
of finding this out isn't always painless.
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Here are a few suggested ways to effectively discipline teenage boys during this turbulent phase:
- Make the rules clear - Make it clear from the get go that any kind of rule breaking will have consequences in your household. Many boys experiment with smoking during adolescent years. If you find a pack of cigarettes in your son's bag, chances are he'll deny that it's his. However, you can say that the fact that the cigarettes are in his possession, whether or not it's his, makes him responsible for it. Be consistent and firm about your rules so that your son will take them seriously as well. Remember that taking away the consequences for your child's misbehavior or bad judgment is a sure fire way to make sure he'll repeat the offense in the future or make worse ones.
- Base the punishment according to the crime - Pointless punishments that are designed to just make a person uncomfortable or make him suffer isn't as effective as focusing your punishment in order to teach a lesson. For example, if your son vandalizes school property, instead of fighting the suspension, volunteer to have your son fix it or have him work odd jobs in order to come up with enough money to replace what he destroyed.
- Do not use shameful punishment - Some parents are too keen on keeping their children from repeating the same mistake that they shame them as they carry out punishment. In most instances, this does more harm than good, especially on the relationship parents have with their children. It's better to cultivate your son's love and respect for you as parents and to not inflict more pain than is necessary while disciplining your child.
- Talk it over - Talking is an effective form of discipline. Avoid being confrontational and offensive. Don't scream at your son because all he'll do is tune you out while you're screaming at him. Instead, talk to your child calmly and listen to what he has to say. Most teens would prefer not to have this kind of conversation anymore. It's uncomfortable and it's personally embarassing because sitting down to talk about something so obviously wrong just makes the wrongness offense that much obvious.
It's not simple or easy to raise a man, especially in this day and age. It's important to set a good example to your child and make sure that he will not lack of positive male role models inside and outside the house.
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