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Enforcing punishments as consequences for disobeying rules or doing something wrong outside the house is essential in good parenting. Teenagers are notoriously difficult to deal with, especially because they are at a stage when they are trying to break out, try new things, and prove that they are can be independent. In their eagerness to make their own decisions, at times they make the wrong ones or defy your own decisions. However, treating them like children and punishing them like how you would a young child could be ineffective.
Here are the more common punishments for teenagers that parents may find useful:
- Revoking privileges - This is one effective way of getting your teen's attention. Teens are usually very protective of the privileges that they enjoy. If you take away their privilege to accept calls on the phone, stay out a bit late, forbid them to use the car, and the likes, chances are your teen will get the message that you don't take their infraction of the rules lightly.
- Limit access to technology - In this age of hyperconnectivity, taking away your teen's capability to connect via internet or mobile phone can make a huge impact. You can also take away the privilege to use the TV, or play with their video games. It's no use grounding your teen if they can still talk to their friends online.
- Additional chores - Some parents may feel that adding more chores when teens can't even deal with what few chores they already have is useless. However, adding to your teen's list of responsibilities such as requiring him to babysit younger siblings or adding more areas to clean inside the house will help your teen realize his/her function and purpose in the home. Also, more chores mean less time spent with friends, so this would likely be something important for them.
- Natural consequences of actions - Parents naturally feel protective of their children. It's hard to ask parents not to feel that way when the actions (or inaction) of their children brings about some consequences. However, there are times when you really have to let them experience the first hand, natural consequences of their decisions. Always bailing them out is tantamount to taking away the consequences and living a life without these is a very dangerous way of raising a child. Constantly cleaning up after your child's mess is not a very ideal way of teaching responsibility.
When faced with the question of how to deal with your teen wilfully defying you, remember that the punishment should at least fit the crime. It's not good to punish your teen just for the sake of punishment. It's best to think of a way to teach your teen how to be responsible through applying punishment that actually sends a real message across. Making restitution through punishment, for example, not only teaches teens that should respect the rules, but they would also understand why the rules are there in the first place. Again, the point is not to make the teen suffer but to help them realize what true responsibility means.
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