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Dealing with teenage domestic violence can be a very serious issue for parents. Violence is the extreme end of aggression, and it usually happens when teens get so frustrated and has not learn any other way to vent out their frustration. They will often lash out at their siblings, destroy property, and/or turn on their parents. Many parents who have teens that display uncontrollable anger and violence often live in fear of what their children will do to them, and are afraid of seeking help (like calling the police) for fear of putting their child in more trouble.

Many teens who use violence to get their way realize early in their life that aggression helps them get what they want. When a teen hits a parent or a sibling whenever he's hears the word "no", he gains a sense of power especially when he sees his parents backing off and giving in.

It's important to understand that through tolerating violence, teens gain power in the household. If parents tolerate violence, their violent children usurps the power in the household and the family can get into a lot of trouble. Once teenagers realize how seductive violence can be and how easily this could give them what they want, it's going to be hard for parents to convince their teens that there are other ways to get what they want, ways that don't involve violence against property and other people.

Tips to avoid teenage domestic violence:

• Set clear limits - Make it clear from the very start that violence will not be tolerated in the household. There's absolutely no justification for abuse. Getting provoked by a sibling doesn't justify retaliating with physical or verbal abuse. Call out your children immediately once you see them breaking this rule and be consistent about it, no matter how tired or busy you are.


• Make your children accountable - Put consequences to the limits you set at home and make sure that children understand the reality of these consequences when they break the rules. Consequences don't help much if you're not consistent with enforcing them.


• Monitor your children's games, movies, and music - There are a lot of things that can serve as fodder to your child's violence. Angst-ridden songs, movies that glorify violence and a violent lifestyle, games that make violence normal and even fun. All these things only serve to glamorize violence. Taking a stand and not allowing these media into your home sends a clear message to your children that you won't tolerate or just be passive about violence.


• Set a good example - It's important to be very honest about your home situation. Are you or your spouse in the habit of being verbally or physically abusive of each other or your children especially during high-stress situations? If your honest answer is yes, it's probably time to consider some family counseling. If you or your spouse/partner hurt each other or the children in order to get what you want or have your way, it shouldn't come as a surprise if your children will eventually do the same.

If you have a teen who is becoming violent, it's important to proactively seek help as early as possible, before the situation gets out of control.