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Living with teens who have ADHD often means dealing with opposition and defiance as a result of many of the disorder's symptoms. Needless to say, it presents a daunting challenge for parents because years of dealing with opposition and defiance would be enough to wear out any persons patience, even the most well-meaning and loving parents.
There is no quick fix for oppositional and defiant ADHD teens. However, it would make the daily challenges easier to face if parents would be prepared for them. Here are a few tips on handling oppositional and defiant ADHD teens:
- Take care of yourself - Don't think it strange if this tip is on the list. It's physically and emotionally exhausting to parent a child with ADHD. If you're not careful, you'll feel stressed, depressed, and drained. To be able to give the best effort towards parenting, it's important to think about yourself and what you can do in order to minimize your stress level.
- Don't engage your teen in a shouting match - When your teen is pushing all the right buttons to get you mad, it's always best to delay your response rather than lash back with an emotional answer. Before reacting, stop to think about what you really want to say and how you want to say it. Aside from deescalating the conflict at hand, it would also give your child a stable anchor in the tumult of his/her emotions. You're also setting a good example to your child on what it means to take control of one's emotions and responses.
- Be clear about your expectations - Many people will misunderstand teens with ADHD and think that they are stupid because they can't follow instructions. However, parents will know better and should adjust their expectations and the way that they express these. Make clear rules and pick your battles well. Don't make an issue out of every little thing in your household because this is setting an unrealistic goal for your ADHD teen and gives him more opportunities for mistakes. Pick rules that are truly important, communicate them clearly and enforce them consistently.
- Schedule more positive activities - Everyday, your teen faces negative social experiences as he/she interacts with less understanding individuals. It's important to proactively provide positive experiences by consistently scheduling special time together. Give your teen something good to look forward to to take the edge away from daily challenges.
- Work closely with your teen's doctor - At times all the support parents give to ADHD teens may still seem to fall short and symptoms of opposition and defiance are starting to become problematic. While the efforts of well-meaning parents are admirable, it's also healthy to understand that seeking professional help and working with a doctor on a long-term basis would also help your teen.
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